Shed retailer cum semi-professional photographer in error

Richard Lincoln, self styled "semi-professional photographer" and garden shed retailer from Canvey Island in darkest Essex wrote to me two times this evening:

In case you missed it the first two times -
Dear Mr Barford,

Could you confirm your address so that I may invoice
you for the use of my photograph on your blog.

Paul Barford
Wloscianska 8/10, 01-710 Warszawa; Poland

Kind regards

Richard Lincoln

Well, in case you missed it, I asked you to provide a link to this photograph you claim is yours on my blog. I think you are mistaken.

Secondly I assume you are referring to a photograph of Judith Plouviez of Suffolk County Council at work. Have you an official release form for the use of this image from SCC to allow you to make commercial use of this image of their personnel in their place of work? Have you the permission of the person involved to make commercial use of this image? I ask, because she informs me that you have neither, and the latter she will not grant you. Even if you decide to ignore her wishes, what basis do you have for trying to make commercial use of this image?

Neither have you stated what terms you are proposing, so even if I was interested in buying your snapshots, maybe you would inform readers of this blog what kind of rights you intend invoicing me for. Would they give full publication rights for the UK and the USA as well as foreign markets?
If I put a photo of one of your sheds on my blog and that it "can be bought from Sheddy Shed company Stray Dog Lane Canvey (or wherever it is you sell them from)" would you want to charge me for the use of that photo too?

I presume that the shed selling business is not going too well in these times of financial crisis, and can only assume from the number of times you have been trying to pressure me into buying something or other from you, that you are desperate for money. I really do not feel charitable enough to help you out, however, as it's possible that you would only spend it on batteries for your metal detector rather than on your hungry family.

I do not know where you got what you think is my "home address", or what right you think you have to this information. That is not my home address, I live in a gated community in entirely different part of Warsaw. Only old people live on that estate built in the Communist era. You've also spelt the street name wrongly. Your repeated attempts to obtain the address of my family's home strike me as a sinister invasion of my privacy, an invoice can equally be sent by a reputable firm by email or fax.

Actually Mr Lincoln, I do not need either any rights to any of your snapshots of metal detectorists and related topics, I have a better source of my own and think I now have enough for my book. (how many photos of stooping, bloated, balding British guys in army surplus clothes using metal detectors in muddy fields do you think I need?) Neither do I currently have any need for a garden shed (already got one, is very nice), so I think you'd better try and find someone else to harass with your spam mails. Thank you.