The IAPN Get What they Pay For...

With reference to the post by Professor David Gill writes about 'Material from controlled archaeological excavation changing the character of the PAS database' and mine ('PAS loses Direction'). Once again, we find from the reaction to this post over there that dullard American collectors have the utmost difficulty of understanding even such a simple concept as who runs the PAS and what for! Duh, it's not rocket science. Anyway if you are an internet nobody with an Alexa rating of 14,9 million (mine is 4,3 million), I guess nobody needs take any interest in what you and your metal detecting BFFs think or say. What makes so many collectors behave as though they are totally thick? Are they seeking sympathy, or just trying to annoy? Either way, they do the hobbies they represent no credit at all.

Sock Puppet Digs Deeper in

"I is archeologist"

"Anonymous"  23 December 2014 at 17:54 wrote:

I am an Archeologist ( shock horror ) and i was invited to join two local detectorists on a dig one day , the one thing that i was impressed with was the accuracy of their machines and also the accuracy of their recording [...].

I suggested ('Focus on UK Metal Detecting: Spot the Sock-Puppet', PACHI Wednesday, 24 December 2014) that the strange wording indicated that this was a metal detectorist pretending to be an archaeologist and the "two local detectorists' were a fiction. We are told: "The poor man needs serious help he questions as to if i am an Archeologist or not without even knowing me. Does he think we are all private school educated?" The issue was something else however. Then he blurts out "Yes i did misspell it that was on purpose to see what sort of a reply i would get [on a metal detecting blog] (Archaeologist) I trained at UEA University of East Anglia". That'd be this course then? Interestingly, the PAS does not show any Roman site with more than two pieces of lead recorded in the whole of the "local' (East Anglia) region, so where are these two artefact hunters allegedly based?

Metal Detectorists Getting Nowhere with Misrepresentation

Over on the Stout Standards (sic) blog the dynamic duo of transatlantic detecting ambassadorship are really letting their hair down and laying into conservation group Heritage Action. In the course of which they decide to refer to something I said:

Golly! Gosh! Many Anglo-Saxon and Bronze Age features, eh? Hmmm. The deluge continued, but the gobby, self-styled expert, Paul Barford, seems to have put a damper on things if his recent comment that, “digging up “such stuff is not what archaeology is primarily about,” is to be believed.

No link is given, so the reader is left in the dark about the context of that  remark (since when has context interested an antiquity collector?). I was referring there to the issue of hoiking out hoards and losing their context as opposed to preserving them within the archaeological record. The quotation comes from ' Focus on UK Metal Detecting: Bedale Logic Fail' PACHI Monday, 15 December 2014, though I see logic is still failing to make any headway in detecting circles.

As one can see in the case of the discussion of rescue excavations carried out in advance of housing development. Mr Howland deduces

If as he claims that, “an archaeology dig is by its nature destructive” then there is a strong case some might feel, for not doing the excavation in the first place.

Ummmm....

How to Become a "Cultural Property Observer"

Becoming a "Cultural property Observer" is not really all that difficult. Just follow these easy steps and you'll be well away.

1) Empty your mind of rationality and heart of fairness. You don't need them in this task.

2) Start with the word: "Archaeoblogger...." and then add a name. Any one will do, they can all be treated as enemies.

3) then select a target group, archaeologists (archaeobloggers) for example, or a person (Zahi Hawasssss) or country (select from list of states with whom the US has signed cultural property MOUs + Egypt).

4) Find some piece of scandal about one of the three (group, person or country) from the local scandal rags, the more obscure a reference the better.

5) Say something ridiculous linking points 2 to 4, bearing little real relationship to what the person allegedly quoted would recognize as what they actually said - the more bizarre the better as it attracts attention. If you can goad your victim into replying they'll supply readers with yet another link to your blog.

5) Then slip in a few gratuitous links to two of your own posts - not necessarily related to the subject of points 4 or 5.

6) Keep it short, don't be tempted to justify what you just said or develop a theme more than superficially. You are "Cultural Property Observer". Your audience needs short, simple texts of eight sentences or less. They cannot cope with more. 

7) Post it and sit back and wait for the foul mouthed metal detectorist to add his "warm wishes from England" or the grousy old ("Arthur Houghton asked me to post this") sock-puppet to add his own brand of supercilious nastiness. They will.

8) Sit back and wait for the cheque.

Unnatural Acts' Discussed on IAPN Lobbyist's Blog

"dib dib dib, dob dob dob,
lift your aprons, roll your trouserlegs up chaps and  let's have some fun"

Peter Tompa considers whether it is "possible the archaeological lobby is giving the Assad regime a pass in hopes of ensuring a return to "business as usual" (i.e. excavation permits and other "collaboration") in the event the government ultimately prevails in the ongoing civil war?". What he means is if the US campaign against Islamist militants in the region fails. Metal detectorist John Howland, the freemason, thinks this is the obvious conclusion:

Of course! They have been caught with their trousers round their ankles, 'in flagrente' (sic), trying to deny they were not about to be involved in what some people might regard as an unnatural act. Hilarious! Warm regards John Howland England

Nationalismus in Coiney World View

Peter Tompa writes:

This Veterans Day let's especially remember all who died in the Great War on all sides. Unfortunately, that war also unleashed forces of nationalism that even today colors our views of antiquities which have become for some the exclusive "cultural property" of the nation state.

I guess he's never heard of the War for Greek Independence, the 1848 Spring of Nations, Herder or any of the rest. Hungarian nationalism only dates from 1914-18 for Mr Tompa?

Intellectual Standards of the Other

Metal detectorist
communication skills

I think this video, looking as if it was made in an Elementary School in Garland Texas, is supposed to be a globally-accessible exemplar of American Humor and an indicator of the mental age and cultural sophistication of the sort of people that serve as the US spokesmen in portable antiquities matters.

The video features dismissive messages for a "Warsaw Wally" and "Heritage Harry" from, among others, a denim-clad John Howland, an obscenely obese canine, a retro 'Village People' poster-boy for Garrett metal detectors, but also Bill with what look like whorehouse dancing girls, Alysson Cohen being offensive, Lisa McIntyre threatening in a slit-trench. The video also features a highly disrespectful and offensive altered image of the current British monarch.The latter at least I assume was used for this purpose without her permission since two of her sons studied archaeology at Cambridge. I imagine two UK preservationists are expected by its authors to feel in some way upset by this childish and unhelpful display of transatlantic empty-headedness and contempt.

Published on You Tube by Dick Stout   21 mar 2014

Watching this puerile nonsense should make clear the basis of the problem one has with some folk who go metal detecting, which is their obvious intellectual under-development and emotional immaturity. The problem is that, far from being the 'partners' extolled by PAS pro-collecting propaganda, one is so often met by unreasoning shallow people with a desire to be offensive to attract attention to themselves, and contribute nothing else. And they do love the attention. Click on the video so his viewer figures go up, you'll make a neglected old man in Texas feel wanted.

Meanwhile, we continue to seek those willing to discuss portable antiquities collecting and heritage issues sensibly like normal people bypassing those who want to substitute for debate these constant and tiresome personal attacks, insults and other distractions. 

UPDATE 23.03.14
Meanwhile it seems that these particular members of the Peeewee Herman fan club cannot actually read: "Robbie" (March 23, 2014 at 6:34 pm) observes "Looks like he is offended by your humorous video" to which its author replies "Have you forgotten Robbie? Mr. Barford does not have a sense of humor!" Mr Barford considers that his sense of humor (sic) is a little more advanced than that of vacant nine-year-olds. For them maybe (and for metal detectorists like Robbie and Dick Stout too), name-calling, gross fat dogs and repeatedly saying "up you" might be "funny",  but I do not think that sort of thing would raise too many laughs around a dinner table here.

Let me make myself clear, "Robbie". As far as I am concerned, Mr Stout's puerile "up you" insults and microcephalic "wally" name-calling are water off a duck's back. As they would be to any adult. But then any normal adult looking at the group of grown men and women shown in that video behaving like nine-year-olds can only feel contempt for what they represent. Remember you are "ambassadors for the hobby" one Code says.  One of you is also ambassador for Floridan archaeology. Believe me, from this side of the Atlantic, the "Standards" you present are not really a very edifying picture.