"Morning Paul"

.
This morning metal detectorist trouble maker, stalker and spammer Steve Taylor wishes me to believe he is now waiting for me outside my house:

Lovely house you've got, must be wanting to pick up a morning paper soon!

Well, there are certainly less binbags and skips and white vans on the driveway here than outside the houses on the back-to-back council estate with the pokey overgrown back gardens that the above email was actually sent from. There are no hoodies walking past my front door.